OCD, the PhD and Me

As I write this, I’m sat doing some very slow cycling on a bike at the local gym. I’ve been here for nearly an hour now, and I feel the need to share how intimidated gyms make me feel for others who have had the same experience.The weights room is the scariest for me, because as soon as I walk in with my plus size form, I feel lots of eyes on me. Now I’d like to say that it’s all in my head, but it’s not because in the space of thirty seconds I saw several pairs of eyes looking at me. I mean, good for you if you’ve worked really hard for months or even years to get the muscles that you have longed for. But don’t make other people feel uncomfortable or judgingly stare at others because they don’t! Everyone has different reasons for coming to the gym. For me, I’m just trying to find an outlet that takes me away from my PhD work for a couple of hours, onethat helps me feel energised in a way that I haven’t felt in a while. The doctor suggested exercise would help my energy levels, so here I am.I also think that it would be helpful if the gym staff were a little bit more diverse in terms of body shapes- again so that it reflects the many reasons why a person comes to the gym. These are supposed to be places that are open to everyone, they’re here to help people achieve exercise goals- they aren’t just for those who have already achieved them and just want to show off to others about achieving them.My advice to anyone feeling this way is firstly, know that you’re definitely not alone. And most importantly hold your head up high– bodies come in all shapes and sizes so own it!